Off to school!

Its a rainy morning and I just got home from dropping Taylor off at Preschool. He is going 2 days a week this year. This is his second time to go and he did brilliantly. Not even a tear, just a hug and a kiss and off he went to play. I have to say that I am trying to not be the crazy mom that obsesses about her child and going to school. Last year he had a bit of a rough start to school which it made me feel retched like I was deserting him. But to my amazment he is doing great so far. So today will be the first time that he stays all the way through nap time. Fingers crossed!
I was got home and realized that I really don't "have" to go anywhere or do anything till this afternoon. It is a very strange concept for me. Because I never really have any free time to myself anymore after Taylor was born. My days are usually mapped out by when I have to work, when I have to leave the house to take Taylor were he needs to go so I can go to work, leaving work and picking Taylor up from where ever he is. So the idea that I could actually just sit on the couch or watch t.v. or both undisturbed it a bit mind boggling. But because of my usually busyness I really cant make myself just sit and do nothing. And part of that is my ADD which makes me really just want to keep doing stuff. But even having the option to do nothing is quite nice. So I will enjoy the free time while it lasts cause if there comes a time when I have a second kid then pretty sure that will be gone.
Even just a few hours of silence does wonders for my soul!!

Farm life

Well very delayed but I wanted to post some pictures from my Pennsylvania trip. I am so glad that I was able to go visit the Hermine family. Its funny that they no longer live in Hermine, and their house is no longer the "Hermine House", but I still say it anyways. I think that I will always refer to the house as that. Arrowhead Villa does not hold the same feelings as the Hermine house. I have such amazing memories in that house. I wish that I could go back and visit although someone else owns it and probably does not look anything like it did. From the outside at least it doesn't. It is no longer yellow, which is the saddest part! As most childhood places that hold a special place in your heart going back and seeing it as an adult can kinda ruin those memories. Everything looks smaller, older and different.

But some how I always feel like a kid again when I go there. With all the aunt to take care of me, and making sure I don't need anything, is really wonderful. And being out on the farm away from the hustle of "city" life is so relaxing.

And the best part for me was having Taylor with me. It was amazing going on walks with Taylor to places that I have been so many times as a kid. Walking by the creek, the old barn and farm house with him and remembering the many times I went on adventures in those same places. And having Taylor sit on my lap and pretend to steer as I drove, remembering Dad let me do the exact same thing on the exact same road so many years ago.

I hope that Taylor has a place that he can look back on one day and have amazing memories like me.

Airports and fresh Chai

Taylor and I arrived in Pennsylvania yesterday afternoon. We came to visit the extended Taylor family for a few days. This was my first solo flight with Taylor. Andreas had to work and was not able to come with. So Taylor and I left Tulsa around 6:20 a.m. I had been dealing with some anxiety the day before the trip so I really had made it worse in my mind. But aside for my worry the trip went well except for having the stroller, his diaper bag, my purse, the camera bag, Taylor and going through security and getting on and off the plane. I just wish I had a few more arms. In Huston I actually forgot the camera case hanging on the chair after we got done eating the worst breakfast ever. After walking for which seemed like forever I realized that I didn't have it. In a horrible panic I turned around and headed back toward where I had eaten. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to remember which way i had come from, and even more afraid to have to tell my husband that I had lost our camera. I had decided to sit way in the corner, back by the window so Taylor could look at the airplanes. Because I went back to where I was sitting and there it was right where I had left it. Thank God!
The rest of the trip was uneventful. Taylor watched some kids shows on his portable dvd player, played with his tape measure, ate a lot. I had put together quite a bag of tricks to make the trip more smooth.
And then to make all my stress wash away in one swoop we got to go to IKEA on our way to the farm! Arriving at the farm I was met with fresh hot Chai and I knew I was at my home away fom home.

Ah! To be a kid again.

Taylor enjoyed a great day outside. He didnt not want to come inside even after it started getting dark. It is amazing to watch him play. I wish a stick or pile of dirt could bring me such joy. Or the sound of a plane flying over head would stop me in my tracks . Or having no cares in the world except bashing a stick against the tin in the backyard and pretending to be hammering. Life seems so simple when I look at him playing with his dump truck. Unaffected by the crazy busy life that is to come.
But when I watch him he stops me in my tracks. He makes me realize that this is what matters. He makes me look up at the sky when I hear the plane because the look of pure joy as he tries to find it makes me happy. Ah! to be a kid again......

T-Bone AKA Taylor

So Taylor is turning 2 in 5 days. It seems like yesterday I found out I was pregnant. I really blinked and 2 years have gone by. It amazes me how quickly it goes by. Although it makes me sad that he is not my little baby anymore, I have enjoyed every stage so far. I think that I cant love him more and he does something so cute and funny and my heart melts. And then he does something so completely frustrating that i just need to leave the room. Just like any relationship motherhood is such a roller coaster ride. But with so many more highs than lows for sure.

Sometimes when I look at my child I am overwhelmed by the magnitude of the responsibility I have been given. I have the job of molding and guiding this small person into adulthood and attempting in the process to make as few mistakes as possible. As I look around at all the craziness that is our world I want to shelter him from all the mess but know that in doing so I would deprive him of the good stuff that is there as well. So I am going to have to attempt to find a balance of protecting and letting him explore. It really does make my head spin a bit if I think about it so much...

But I also look at him and it makes me smile from ear to ear that I am the one that has been given this huge responsibility. I look at him and I see everything good. You cant help but smile when he walks into the room. And it makes your heart happy when he says you name. He says it with such joy. He already is such a little man that I know I am going to blink again and he will be in collage. But I am learning to enjoy each season as it comes. Making the most of each moment. Happy Birthday Taylor!

Sweet River, roll all over me-Waterdeep

Well I figured since everyone seems to has a blog, I figure I should start one as well. Although I really dont have much to write about, it is nice to have some where I can express thoughts and ideas that might pop into my head.

Sunday night I was able to go to a Waterdeep concert. And for those of you who are not familiar with them, they are an amazing Christian band. They have been around for a long time, and produced many albums, but have not been doing any concerts for a while. At least not in Tulsa. Well anyways, I was able to go with my younger sisters,who have never seen them in concert. Being able to hear them play again was such an experience. They have impacted my life so much and over the years their music has always moved me in a way that no other band has. Their music is simple and some how has always spoken directly to me. Over the years their music has brought me to tears so many times because I could relate to the pain of the human struggle. But the music has always made me happy because the beat of the song and the hope that their message brings. And the common love for the music brought me close to some people. The friendships didnt last but when I hear some songs it takes me back to that time in my life. "Aaron, I dont think I've ever wanted as much To be free as I've longed to be know...One line from a songs that I have always liked.

Seeing them in concert brought back all those good and bad feeling rolled into one. I was able to meet and talk to Lori Chaffer for the first time. But for some reason I turned into a complete bumbling idiot. Some how I felt like I knew her and it would be like talking to an old friend that I have not seen in a long time. But when I introduced myself I realize I was a stranger and as I tried to regroup I must have just sounded silly. But I was glad that I at least got to meet her, shake her had and introduce her to my sisters.